KEEPSMILING, KEEPDREAMING, NEVERSTOPBELIEVING.
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19.3.12, 5:21 AM
Please
I've been in the state of shock and depression for two weeks already. Although things feel as bad as how it was the first day things happened, actually, it feels worse now. It sucks so bad when you know you did everything, and I mean everything, just to keep someone around, and yet you still manage to lose them and make them hate you. Even though I know that I'm not the one who's at fault I somehow blame myself for things, maybe its because that's what I got used to. Lord, you're all I hold on to. I know that you would never let me go through something I will not be able to overcome. I know that you believe in me and you will never let me face things alone. I just really pray that people would take it easy on me really soon, because right now, I just want to move on and be happy. Gusto ko lang naman sumaya e.. , 5:08 AM
USELESS SHIT
Tried to keep it all in, the pain. Tried not to cry to show everyone I could handle things. I didn't want to look weak, but I keep on failing. There comes a moment when I can't just keep pretending. I honestly don't know what to do. I try to live my life day by day and just keep moving forward. But I don't know how to keep moving forward without you around. It hurts too bad. It hurts too much.. Before I was devastated about the fact that you kept on bringing me down, now I'm devastated of not even having you around. As stupid as it may sound, sometimes, I wish that you'd just notice how much pain you've caused me and somehow hug me, just once and it would take everything away. I'd give everything just to have you beside me again, I'd do anything just to even catch you smile at me again.
People say I should just let time decide on what my future holds. Let time heal everything that should be healed. I just hope we can fast forward time and see.
Pero hindi ganun ang buhay e, kailangan pagdaanan lahat kahit gaano ka bagal at kahirap, kailangan e. Sinasabi nila pagkatapos ng lahat ng to, magiging mas matatag akong tao, magiging mas malakas ako, pero bakit ko ba kailangan pagdaanan to? Ano ba nagawa ko para gawin sakin to? Nagmahal ako ng totoo, kasalanan na pala ngayon yun at kailangan ako parusahan dahil doon?
Hirap na hirap na po ako.
My health is deteriorating, everything I try to take in, my body rejects it. I'm not thinking about you, but everything around me reminds me of what used to be. I even try to wonder how I survived last few months, not being yours, you not being mine. How on earth did I stop thinking about you?
I wish this would all end soon. I need to get my life back on track.
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, MOREEN.
6.3.12, 6:15 AM
When Things Go Wrong
It hurts too much I can't even rant about it. I can't find the words to say, nothing's coming out. This is weird, because I'm used to the fact that every single time I feel bad about something, I just let it all out and I'll be fine. Right now, I feel really, really, really, bad and nothing, nothing's coming out. There's something wrong. I can't figure things out anymore. Lord, please give me the strength to go through whatever I'm facing right now. You're the only one who knows how I'm feeling and how terrible I feel about it. Please help me. I really need you right now, I'm scared and lonely. This is the first time in my entire life that I'm really falling apart. I'm everywhere, my thoughts are scattered, nothing makes sense to me right now. I don't know where to start picking up the pieces, I don't know what to do to get myself back on track. I'm just all over the place. 7.2.12, 5:15 AM
♥
Cherry, cherry, boom, boom! 6.2.12, 6:07 AM
Breathe In, Spill Thoughts
Note to self : Stop letting jerks walk on you, keep your head high, they need you more than you need them. I hate how I seek advice from so many people especially during those times when I'm really, really, really, really down and end up not following whatever they told me to do so. I know that no matter what your friends tell you, every decision is ALL UP TO YOU. It's YOUR life, they're not the one's who'd gain happiness or dwell in sadness when decisions has been made. Sometimes I get to believe in what someone once called me, I am constantly seeking for attention. Am I? Maybe I am. I don't know. I just can't face things alone. It's like a sickness. I need to talk to someone. I NEED TO. Every single time something happens to me whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Although I've noticed, when I feel down or hurt because of something, that's when I need to vent on someone the most. Just like what I said in my last rant, my mouth goes on and on and on spitting away random/senseless words. I'm starting to hate it, well, actually, I'm so pissed with it I could probably chop my tongue off, but then again, I'd probably just end up typing the rants away, so useless din. I need to get things out of my head. Too much questions, no answers. I feel like my head will burst sooner or later. I literally have headaches because of thinking too much. THERE. That's another sickness that I magically acquired. I analyze things too much. Wala pa ngang nangyayari, nasa ending na ko tapos madalas pang nasa isip ko puro negative na mga bagay. Ang galing! Argh. I guess now it's crystal clear, I need to get checked into a hospital of some sort to be able to get rid of these sicknesses, a rehabilitation center? Or better yet, an asylum. Happenings now-a-days are driving me insane. This is the most senseless post I've ever published. I'm sorry, I just needed to unleash mind clutter, and I didn't know where to start, so I sort of just dumped it all without any uniformity or what-so-ever. |
THE LITTLE MISS
I draw a lot. I sing too. I blog to unleash mind clutter email me at moreeeeen@yahoo.com Tumblr Deviant Art ym:moreeeeen |
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