KEEPSMILING, KEEPDREAMING, NEVERSTOPBELIEVING.
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29.11.10, 2:42 AM
HIM.
I'll definitely look younger. Darn it. Well, I've been having a hard time recently. I know, I'm always complaining. I don't really know what to do with how things are right now. I'm sure, sooner or later, as always, things will fall into place. I answered a formspring question yesterday. It asked "Who do you need most in your life? Why?" and I answered "I need God. He leads me to the light every single time I have doubts. He gives me signs on how to get through the most awful days. He keeps me company whenever I'm alone. He sends me a lot of things to keep me happy. He answers my prayers in one way or another. He showed me that losing something isn't the end of the world but it's a chance to gain something better. I can go on and on with why he's the one I need most in my life but I have to leave in a few minutes :) Sorry. I'll just make a blog post about it someday :))" I guess this would be the post about Him. God. God has been there beside me all through out the eighteen years, one month and nine days of my life. He hasn't failed me so far. He has never left my side even though at times I doubted his judgement. You see, my family and I have faced tons of difficulties in life, and at a very young age I learned to keep in mind that God will never fail me. I don't go to church every Sunday, I don't formally go to a priest and confess. I don't believe in most of those rituals. But I believe in Him. I believe in his presence. I believe that no matter where we are, whether or not its an hour mass or just a five minute prayer, that as long as we give him a part of our day whole heartedly it's enough for him. God isn't hard to please. All you have to do is be thankful for everything he's given you and to believe in him that he will never leave you no matter what. Even though some people sin so much, God has never left them. Those people just choose not to come back to him. God has taught me that prayer is the most powerful thing. He has answered all of my prayers one way or another. He sent me signs which never failed me. God will never give up on us. But most of us choose to give up on him and to blame him in our wrong doings. God never gave us something we can never overcome. He would never put us through trials which we can't go through. He knows what we're capable of doing. Just believe in him in times of doubt, in times when you can't see the light or when you feel like you have no purpose in life. Just believe that God will send you something or even someone who'd be able to show to you the right path. We all have a purpose. We just have to believe. 23.11.10, 1:30 AM
Crying. Pain.
I cry a lot. I cry over useless things, although I don't cry when I get hurt physically, I cry when I'm hurt emotionally. I used to cry every night, I cried myself to sleep, I cry till I can't open my eyes the next morning because it's too puffy. But then, every time I finish crying, I realize that what I cried for isn't even worth a drop of my tears. I should stop letting things hurt me. By this time, after how many years of hurt and hate, I should somehow be immune to it. A few months ago, when I was broken, I read a post on Tumblr. It said "Emotional pain roughly lasts for 10 to 12 minutes. The rest is self-inflicted.". That made me think. A hell lot. I guess that's one of the reasons why now-a-days when I get hurt emotionally, I hurt for more or less five minutes, cry another 5 to 10 and suddenly stop and look at myself in the mirror and just end up shrugging my shoulders, thinking "It's not worth it.". Crying helps us release a lot of tension, anger, depression, frustration, sadness. But it also gives us stupid puffy eyes, a stuffy nose and it makes breathing a hell lot harder. Why don't we just release tension, anger, depression, frustration and sadness using other ways? Like, singing our hearts out. Or maybe dancing crazily or drawing, drowning ourselves with loud music hoping that it would drown our problems as well. Or why not just blog about stupid random stuff every single time you feel like crying. You'd end up saying something really stupid or maybe something full of sense. I'm tired of crying. My tears are starting to irritate my cheeks. The less I cry, the more I get to think properly. Please, no more pain and no more hurting. No more crying. 21.11.10, 12:39 AM
Whatever Happened.
It's been November for quite sometime already and I haven't even felt the "Christmas Spirit" in me. It's sad. Haven't even started doing my Christmas shopping. Anyway, I'll start that soon. Will YOU be in my list? MALAMIG BA PASKO MO? I want to blog about something but I have nothing interesting to blog about. I feel useless. HAHA. I wasn't able to go to the last day of CFAD Week. Darn it. Up Dharma Down was there, I wasn't able to go. Oh well. I'll catch them next time. I've been missing UST so badly. I miss the people in CFAD. They're awesome. WILL BLOG WHEN SOMETHING INTERESTING POPS UP. 17.11.10, 9:20 AM
Commitments?
If you're one of those people who believed in someone who promised you "FOREVER" and suddenly bailed out, then you somehow know what I'm talking about. I mean, I'm sure there are people out there who can keep themselves committed to something. But, there's a bigger number of people who can't. I'm one of them. FOREVER. Is such a misused word. People throw it around now-a-days as if its something that they can really stay for. Especially in relationships. I see tons of month old relationships which revolves around promises of "Forever". They last, for sometime. But, 8 out of 10 of those relationships break off before a year has gone by. Has "Forever" become a synonym for "One year" or maybe "Two"? Most promises aren't kept. Because of happenings that none of us ever thought of happening when we made that promise. But when that something happens, we forget, we forget everything we said the moment we made our promises. Sucks eh? I've told myself I would stop making promises. But I'd never stop trying to keep my word. Pagnagbitaw ako ng salita, asahan mo na pipilitin kong tuparin yun. I'm honestly tired of hearing people promise things and slowly forget what they promised. I'm too young to lose hope in "Forever" but sadly, it's fading away. Therefore, I would live my life making the most of what I have with someone as long as I have them beside me. I don't need you to promise me forever, as long as you'd stay with me as long as you can. I'd be happy with that and I wouldn't regret not one minute of that time with you. I want someone who'd stay no matter what, someone who does things even though promises were never made. Who wouldn't trade you for someone else because they love YOU. If you really love me, even if promises of forever were never made, you'd stay. We don't need assurance. We'd stay for each other because we want to, not because of a promise. 14.11.10, 5:46 AM
Kisses and Regrets.
The shoot was held in Batangas, on one of the private beaches there. It looked so gorgeous. Anyway, I want to take something out of my system but I'm having a hard time to do so. I can't believe I'm going through it all over again, it sucks so bad. And the worst part is, the people involved in it can easily say "You're on your own on this one". I don't get why some people can just turn their backs on you when they feel as if they didn't do anything wrong, even if clearly, they contributed to the event itself. It pisses me off. I was never the type of person who'd let someone take all the blame for something, especially if I contributed to it. For example, if there's an argument, even though I didn't start it, I'd apologize for my part. An argument between two people wouldn't be so bad if one of you just shut the hell up. So, basically, whether or not you started it, or it was your fault, you still did something to let the flames grow higher. And you should be sorry for that. Kahit na sasabihin mo pa, "E di ko naman sasabihin yun kung di mo to ginawa e" or what-so-ever. You choose the things you do. Nobody forces you to do it. Even though someone tells you to do so, you're still the one who has the power to do it or not. Gets? If someone forced you to jump off a building if you choose not to, no matter what they do, even if they harass you with words, you'll never fall off. The only way they can do is push you off, therefore, still not making you jump at all. You stand your ground. People should stop blaming one another for their own actions. May sarili sarili po tayong pagiisip, we have freewill, pwede po bang gamitin natin yun? Wag yung sisi ka ng sisi pag naipit ka na sa mga decision na ginagawa mo. WE CAN ALL SAY "NO" but would we? 11.11.10, 6:02 AM
You swoon.
You're senses become so alert and your mind starts playing these thoughts over and over again. You can hear yourself think about so many things all at once. I hate that feeling. I guess it's one of the many reasons why I'm not fond of having a "bed time". It's currently 6:06 am right now. As usual, I haven't hit the hay. I'm the type of person who sleeps when my body can't take it anymore. I stay up as long as I can. When I'm not yet drained, I don't sleep. It's not healthy, I know. I just hate feeling THAT, every single time I try to sleep and I'm not yet fully drained. I like the feeling of lying down and as soon as you hit the bed, you're in dreamland. My mind has been bothering me with tons of useless thoughts recently. Things about my future. I don't have one. I have no plans. Aside from that, thoughts about "What the hell just happened?", "Where are you now?", "What the fuck do you want from me?", "How on earth do I get started?". As you can see, I'm not content with where I'm at right now. I want assurance, I want answers. Well, come to think of it, all of us want answers. |
THE LITTLE MISS
I draw a lot. I sing too. I blog to unleash mind clutter email me at moreeeeen@yahoo.com Tumblr Deviant Art ym:moreeeeen |
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